I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
