There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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