if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
