Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
