it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
