Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
