If i come over, it means nothing
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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