as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
