She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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