I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
