I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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