I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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