Don't you send me to vm
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
