my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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