The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
