so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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