I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
