All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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