Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
