Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
