Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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