He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
