saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love you. Go after that dick
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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