Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
