Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
