ya dads aren't the best wingmen
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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