I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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