Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
