You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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