no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
