is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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