mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
