I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
