We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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