It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
