ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize