tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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