He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
