She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
