If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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