Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
