I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
