I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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