I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
