Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she looked like the before picture.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
