Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
