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Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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