I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How naked do you want me to be?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
