he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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