Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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