She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
