Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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