Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
