Duck Duck Cougar?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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