Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
