That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
