some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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