so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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