dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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