this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
