I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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