Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
