I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
