It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
