Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
